What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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