My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
