Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
