Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
