I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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