There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
