she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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