I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
