My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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