I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
