Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
