nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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