So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
