she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
