Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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