Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  i take joy in having bigger boobs than others

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  (970): i take joy in having bigger boobs than others http://tfl.nu/4ho3
  Replies (93) Good night (6523) Bad night (808)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids

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  (301): I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids http://tfl.nu/xnc7
  Replies (19) Good night (7060) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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  (607): Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up. (845): Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity. http://tfl.nu/u2xk
  Replies (5) Good night (2015) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are

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  (303): I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned. (720): Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed? (303): my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are http://tfl.nu/22n0
  Replies (9) Good night (4042) Bad night (1454)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth

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  (705): I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth http://tfl.nu/7ynn
  Replies (12) Good night (2010) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.

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  (518): Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk. http://tfl.nu/lrcf
  Replies (4) Good night (1229) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.

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  (+44): When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits. http://tfl.nu/jw7g
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.

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  (561): I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/c2xb
  Replies (11) Good night (415) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.

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  (502): Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain. http://tfl.nu/4o3l
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.

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  (201): Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus. http://tfl.nu/06dr
  Replies (4) Good night (809) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.

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  (270): We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/4qrz
  Replies (5) Good night (367) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.

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  (303): I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle. http://tfl.nu/isj2
  Replies (0) Good night (1219) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it

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  (306): it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator. (306): oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it http://tfl.nu/nakp
  Replies (6) Good night (595) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge

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  (419): He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge http://tfl.nu/86hl
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings

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  (416): earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings http://tfl.nu/vy6b
  Replies (0) Good night (141) Bad night (64)

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