He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.