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• (818): View more from California

  my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.

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