My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME