I just pynch a tree in the face
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
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unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.