you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.