Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
