is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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