am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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