Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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