i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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