I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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