On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
