Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
