yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
