I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
