I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
