I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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