i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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