I'm going to jail i love you
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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