His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
