i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
