That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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