how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
