he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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