I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I am one with the molecules
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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