The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
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Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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