Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
