i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
