At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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