Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize