Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
