Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
