Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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