Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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