The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
ok first of all what the fuck
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
