hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
