Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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