I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
