thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
