Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
pray to the hookup gods
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