i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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