He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
