you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
