it hurts more in the daytime
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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