Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I look better un-naked...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
