no, he came in my armpit
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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