We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
