Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
