I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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