Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Who died my cat blue again?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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