When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize